When someone asks me a deep question, I usually don’t have a reaction or a response until much later.
I’m a disappointing person to try to debate or attack.
I just have nothing worth saying in the moment, except maybe, “Interesting point.”
Then a few days later, after thinking about it a lot, I have a response.
This probably makes me look stupid in the moment, but I don’t mind. I’m not trying to win any debates.
In fact, I’ll tell you a secret.
When someone wants to interview me, I ask them to send me questions a week in advance.
I spend hours writing down answers from different perspectives before choosing the best or most interesting one.
Then when we’re in a live conversation, I try to make my answers sound spontaneous.
People say that your first reaction is the most honest, but I disagree.
Your first reaction is usually outdated.
Either it’s an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it’s an emotional response from something in your past.
When you’re less impulsive and more deliberate, it can be a little inconvenient for others (and that’s OK) and when someone asks you a question, you don’t have to answer.
You can say “I don’t know” or “I need time to process” and then take your time to answer… and maybe through example, you can show others that they can do the same.
All the best,
-Ivan